and that's how insidious it is i'm so afraid some MRA guy is going to miss the point
"He doesn’t hate women.
Above and beyond everything else, he wants you to know this: he does not hate women.
He has two daughters, for god’s sake, and a wife that he adores beyond anything else, and a sister that he texts every day and a mother who is the strongest person that he’s ever known – yes, stronger than any of the men he’s met. So don’t think that this is because he hates women.
If anything, his real problem is loving women too much.
See, he just wants his daughters to grow up safe and happy. And to be honest, some of the things that you’re saying – that these feminists are saying – are troubling to him.
He just wants to have a sort of academic chat. Peer to peer. Grownup to grownup. That’s all. He’s not saying you’re wrong – not by a long shot! He just wants you to explain a few things. He’s a reasonable, logical man, and he’s only asking for what any reasonable, logical person would want: proof.
After all, if you’re going to call yourself a feminist, you should be willing to back that belief up with facts, right?
And if you’ve got all the facts, it should be easy enough to convince him, shouldn’t it?
And after all, how is he supposed to understand anything if you won’t educate him?
He just wants so badly to understand.
If you don’t mind, could you start by providing him with some kind empirical data that women continue to suffer from systematic oppression? He doesn’t care about the past, and doesn’t want a history lesson. He wants to talk about the here and now. And from what he can see in the here and now, women are doing pretty well. Just look at you! Smart, well-educated, pretty. What about your gender could you possibly imagine has ever held you back? If anything, it’s probably done you a few favours!
He wonders if, for instance, you knew that there are now more women in post-secondary institutions than men? Gee, it sure seems like being a woman has benefited you in that regard!
He wonders if knew that more men were killed on the job than women, or that more men died violent deaths than women.
He wonders if you were aware that the rate of suicide was higher for men than for women.
He wonders if you even care about men, the way that he cares so much about women.
When you bring up the wage gap, he tells you that women make less because they work, on average, fewer hours. He tells you that men receive bonuses for doing more hazardous work, which skews the numbers. He tells you that the wage gap isn’t based on discrimination, but rather on mitigating factors that you obviously haven’t taken into consideration.
When you bring up rape and domestic violence statistics, he tells you that of course he’s sympathetic to female victims, but then asks why you didn’t mention male victims. He ponders aloud how interesting it is, the fact that you focus so much on women and seem to care so little about men. Don’t you think that men are victims of rape and domestic violence too? Have you ever thought about the fact that men’s numbers might be so much lower because stigma prevents so many victims from reporting their attacks? When a woman is raped or beaten, she’s treated with kindness and pity, but if it happens to a man, well, you can only imagine the comments about his masculinity and sexuality. And there are no men’s shelters for male victims of domestic abuse, there are no workshops for men to learn how to defend themselves against rapists. So wouldn’t you say that men actually have it worse with regards to these issues?
He doesn’t like the term “victim-blaming,” because, well, he finds that people use it when they want to escape the consequences of their actions. The thing is, if you’re a young girl out drinking and partying with the boys, he’s sure we all know that certain things might happen. Of course any rapist is a terrible person and deserves to be punished, but. Well. Women need to practice risk management, don’t they? If we know that rapists exist (and we do), then logically why would women make certain choices that would increase their risk of being raped? Rapists are monsters and we can’t change that, but women can certainly do their part to make sure that they stay safe.
After all, if someone’s house is robbed because they didn’t lock their door, we acknowledge that locking the door could have prevented the crime, don’t we? We don’t hold the person whose house was robbed to be completely blameless just because in a perfect world crimes would never be committed, do we?
Or to put it another way, when we drive cars, we wear seat belts, not because we think that we are bad drivers, but because we can’t control what other people on the road might do.
He wants his daughters to dress and behave modestly because although he trusts them, he can’t trust other people. That’s not victim-blaming, that’s just common sense.
He asks if you think that his daughters should serve as collateral damage for some point you are trying to prove.
He asks why it’s fine to put his daughter’ lives at risk for your so-called feminist principles.
He asks why you would want his daughters to dress and act like sluts – wouldn’t you rather they attract boys with their brains and character rather than their looks?
You see, it’s not that he hates women – not at all. He cares a great deal – obviously more than you do – about their health and safety. He wants his daughters to marry men who treat them well – men who hold open doors, men who pull out chairs, men who treat women as the exalted creatures that they are. He tells you that women – all women – deserve nothing less than this, because they are better, kinder, sweeter people than men. Women are stronger than men, he says – how else could they endure childbirth? Women are more nurturing and loving than men, he says – that’s why for thousands of years they’ve stayed home with the children while the men were out providing for the family.
Why would you want to deny his daughters all these wonderful qualities of womanhood and femininity?
Why would you want his daughters to be more like men, who are so obviouslythe lesser sex in so many regards?
You bring up the way that we as a society perpetuate and reinforce traditional gender roles; he counters with anecdotes about little boys being naturally interested in trucks, while little girls gravitate towards dolls and cooking sets.
You bring up the extreme beauty standards that women are held up to; he scoffs and asks if you’ve noticed how attractive the men in Hollywood are. He wonders if you think that women are alone when it comes to having body image issues – do you truly believe that men don’t face the same pressure that women do?
You bring up abortion; he bemoans the fact that men have no say over whether their child, their own flesh and blood, is born.
He uses the term “logical fallacy.”
He uses the term “straw man argument.”
He uses the term “ad hominem attack.”
When you tell him that he is not using any of these terms correctly, he calls thatan ad hominem attack.
When you try to end the discussion, he accuses you of being too emotional about this. After all, here he is being all calm and rational, while you seem very, very upset. Here he has sat politely listening to you, presenting some very valid arguments, treating you exactly as he would treat a man, but you can’t seem to handle it. He humbly suggests that, if you cannot have a calm, rational discussion with him, perhaps women are not as equal as you imagine.
He asks why you so enjoy the role of the victim.
He asks why you would want to reduce his smart, competent daughters to victims.
He asks why you want to think of his mother, his brave, strong mother who raised him all on her own, as a victim.
He would never think of women as victims because, unlike you, he does not hate women.”
-the belle jar
step aside other fandoms
we’ve got evil snowmen
Ours is better.
How is that relevant to evil snowmen?
You”ll never know.
i fell over and died when i saw the shirts aaaaaa
i DON’T THINK MINDFANG AND I COULD RAISE MUCH OF ANYTHING,
Aw widdle tavvy’s face
milf of light
I fucking love this artist <3
I fell in love the way Stiles gets out of his car; slowly, then all at once. [x]
Thor: Thor sleeps anywhere, and naked. This has caused a few issues.
Steve: on his back or side, straight as he can, barely moving. This is a habit left over from camps and barracks, squashed in with other soldiers, and from before, from the cold bitter new York winters when he was a kid. The cold was dangerous for him, screwed with his lungs, so every night Bucky would come to his place and squeeze into his narrow bed to keep him warm. He was like a furnace. Steve’s elbows and knees were sharp as knives so he made sure to keep extra still so his friend would be comfortable. Bucky’s warmth probably saved his life.
Natasha: Fetal position. Natasha curls up like a cat, all curved limbs and tousled hair, one hand by her face. She looks innocent, almost at peace. This is because her other hand is wrapped around the gun beneath her pillow.
Tony: Sleeps spreadeagle, mouth open, limbs splayed, wherever he collapses. He goes days and days without sleep; he is the wraith in Avengers tower, making coffee and scrambled eggs at 4am and disappearing back to his lab. Steve’s not much for sleep either, and he’s the only one besides Pepper who can gain access to Tony’s workshop, so he often goes downstairs to find Tony passed out on the floor with a wrench clutched in his fist and oil in his hair. If Tony ever wonders why he falls asleep on the workshop floor and wakes up in his bed with his shoes removed, he never mentions it to Steve.
Bruce: sleeps more than any of them. It’s maybe a metabolism thing. Hulking out uses up a lot of energy, so whenever he shrinks back to regular Bruce-size he eats enough for three and then sleeps for at least 16 hours. He sleeps in fetal position like Natasha, but tighter, knees tucked up almost to his chest, his whole body a clenched fist. It looks almost painful. He frowns and mutters to himself, and sometimes he cries out. There is an unspoken agreement amongst the rest of the team that they won’t mention it.
Clint: Sleeps with his eyes open. Sitting up. On the couch, or on top of the fridge, or on the stairs. Basically wherever affords the best position to scare the shit out of Tony at 3 in the morning.
so I’m reading through this, and I’m like “wow, this is spot-on, this person has a really good grasp of the avengers”
and then I read clint’s
and now I am crying.
I did meet a fake geek girl once.
We were at school and she started to casually drop in that she liked comics/games/”geek stuff”, at the time I was wearing an iroman shirt. Deeper into the conversation i found that she didn’t know what I meant when I was referring to anything about the characters. When I questioned her about it a few days later she admitted that she had really just said it to get to know me better.
We ended up dating and while we were dating she got really into comics, DC especially, and found out that she really did enjoy the things she first said she did. I took her to her first convention. She met another guy there and ended up breaking up with me for him.
I went on to discover I was gay and fucked her brother.
Moral of the story. Comics lead to sex in the most unexpected ways.
This story was a riot from start to finish.
...I WANT TO GO TO THERE
Spartan children train from a young age to withstand grueling pain.
Dear internet, this is how you gently and thoughtfully change people’s minds. No shaming, no yelling, just a nice nudge to, “Aha!”
I will aspire to use classy same tone next time I try to educate someone about something!
or maybe we could focus more on how felicia responded correctly to being called out instead of making sure oppressed people are polite enough when they’re calling people out on their bigotry
As someone who has been both the person doing the calling out and the person being called out, I feel as though both of these things are important.
Thermochromic table by Jay Watson
imagine banging someone on that table
imagine being home alone and seeing imprints on that table
Imagine having a friend sit at that table for a long while, but when they get up there’s no imprints at all.
What if you got up after trying to console a crying friend, and found that you had no imprints… and they were crying because they missed you?
aaaah it was a cool table now it’s a horror/drama story
oh you guys looked at that table differently then me. I just thought of all those fics were people have sex on table right before their parents come over. and what a horrible dinner experience it would be to look down mid-meal to see the faded imprint of your son fucking his boyfriend.
and that right there is the true horror story
History is not a long series of centuries in which men did all the interesting/important things and women stayed home and twiddled their thumbs in between pushing out babies, making soup and dying in childbirth.
History is actually a long series of centuries of men writing down what they thought was important and interesting, and FORGETTING TO WRITE ABOUT WOMEN. It’s also a long series of centuries of women’s work and women’s writing being actively denigrated by men. Writings were destroyed, contributions were downplayed, and women were actively oppressed against, absolutely.
But the forgetting part is vitally important. Most historians and other writers of what we now consider “primary sources” simply didn’t think about women and their contribution to society. They took it for granted, except when that contribution or its lack directly affected men.
This does not in any way mean that the female contribution to society was in fact less interesting or important, or complicated, simply that history—the process of writing down and preserving of the facts, not the facts/events themselves—was looking the other way."
“Nobody has the right to turn out and tell me that I can’t wear a certain outfit, that I can’t go out to a certain place because I would be safer, or because a man looks at me…”
I love Priyanka Chopra.
I don’t understand why so many people respond “yes” to this question. If a man drops his wallet in front of me, does that give me the right to steal it? It’s such a simple concept, yet so many seem incapable of grasping it.